well today i have doctors at 1pm!! i can't wait! i actually like going to the doctors now! idk why, maybe because i have a cute little surprise inside of me that i feel like i'm dying to get out!!

well victor went camping this weekend with all of his friends. he got hurt and almost drowned there! cause his dumbass decided to go down the river with no life jacket and got his foot caught between some rocks and it locked in there and threw him around awhile till it spit him out then he almost drowned cause he could barely move! some of his friends were there and gave him the oar from the boat to help him out! well i'm happy he's alright though but he's a dumbass! but w/e

amy (my high school friend) she had her baby yesterday! i think the baby is big cause i've only seen little babies! they say she's small! idk! her baby was 7lbs & 3oz. and lacy's baby was 6lbs & 12oz. i thought that was small!!! idk maybe more people should have babies so i could compare!!??

well idk but i'm gonna get outta here!!!

well today has been long!!

i babysit for victor's three boys then two other little girls! i don't like the girls for shit! they are dakota 6 and mary 4. i can honestly say that i really DO NOT like mary!! she really annoys me! and such a little brat! she is enough to make anyone hate kids! she is mean and obnoxious, and i can't stand her at all!!! i know it sound mean and like i'm a bitch but really i can't help it i hate that little girl! and i barely even know them and they always try to kiss and hug me! i don't even want to hug them let alone kiss them! i can't wait till i have my kid, cause then i'm not going to be watching anyone's kids anymore! at least my kid will not be like that because i'll be the one to raise her!! i'm not saying my child won't be bad but at least not like these kids!
-----well anyways------
i found out i will be having a girl! we are going to name her nataly nicole!! i cannot wait!! i have a little less than four months left to go!!

i finally realized that i have a drinking problem! yah i'm an alcoholic! it's pretty bad when i can't even stop while i'm pregnant! i already love my daughter soo much and like victor said it can't be as much as i think if i can't stop drinking even for her! which he's right! it's not like i drink a lot but everytime i feel like shit or if i get mad the first thing i think about is going to drink! that's NOT good! so i'm grounding myself to my house at least until after i have my baby! and then it'll be really hard to leave because we aren't going to have anyone watch her while we go out unless it's one of us! i don't want our life to turn out like my cousin's or my aunt's and thier kids! they barely ever see thier kids because someone else is always watching them while they are out drinking!! i don't want it to be like that with us! it's probably the main reason why thier kids don't listen to them or anyone else! and i'm not going to do that to my daughter!!

lacy had her baby! lacy is my sister! her name is aryona marie! she was born may 29, 2006! she was a small baby! 6lbs and 12ounces! cute as a button though! she was here on sunday! lacy actually let me take her for the day! lacy's going to be a great mommy! she already is! i can tell!